by Dave Noble, City News Editor
ELMHURST – Following an obvious agenda set forth by their parents and the United States government to strip away the Second Amendment right of every red-blooded American to bear arms and “shoot shit”, hundreds of mind-controlled students at York High School and Bryan Middle School obediently took part in a national student walkout Wednesday morning by leaving their classrooms at 10:00 a.m. local time in protest of an isolated incident that took place last month in Parkland, Florida.
Herded like sheep through the hallways and outside of their schools, most students interviewed during the education-depriving 17-minute walkout were suspiciously consistent with their feelings about gun control and why they chose to take part in the “student-led” walkout.
“Civilians should not have access to automatic weapons,” said York High School junior Brandon Jenkins, who denied being a crisis actor despite his unnatural display of poise and confidence while talking about school shootings that have purportedly occurred around the country over the last two decades. “We’re not old enough to vote, so today we’re trying to send a message and show our feelings about gun violence in American schools.”
The student walkout required a strong police presence at both schools and was covered by several media outlets that were conveniently on hand to cover the story. While the students were happy to take a short break from their studies to blindly follow their peers, many of the teachers were frustrated by the interruption to the school day.
“This is a waste of time,” said York High School chemistry teacher Nancy Williams, who has been teaching at York for 35 years and remembers a similar walkout in 1989 when the school removed the student smoking section adjacent to the baseball field. “I don’t understand what these kids are trying to prove.”
Classes resumed at both schools around 10:20 a.m.