by Dave Noble, City News Editor
ELMHURST – Welcoming the guidelines issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention as a well-needed break from interacting with each other, the majority of Elmhurst residents are reportedly elated to practice “Social Distancing” during the COVID-19 pandemic by avoiding contact with their neighbors, members of their fitness club, and the general population they would normally come in contact with on a daily basis.
As the rapid spread of the virus that causes COVID-19 sparked alarm worldwide and resulted in more sanctions Monday and Tuesday, Elmhurst residents quickly and enthusiastically distanced themselves from one another. Those who did venture out the last two days gladly practiced limited eye contact with other people and avoided facial expressions that might be misinterpreted as an invitation to interact.
Some families have imposed a self-quarantine to avoid fellow residents, allowing only their nanny, their housekeeper, and their personal shopper to enter their home.
“I’m really enjoying the confinement so far,” said W. Elm Park Ave. resident Barry Myers, who disdains the elaborate secret handshake he feels obligated to perform when greeted by one of his College View neighbors and customarily plans a family vacation to coincide with the neighborhood’s annual block party. “After all of this is over, I just might stay quarantined for a few extra months.”
A poll taken Tuesday evening of people parked illegally in front of various downtown Elmhurst restaurants while waiting for their curbside pickup revealed that most residents are more than happy to give up PTA meetings, gender reveal parties, and other gatherings that are typically impossible to avoid attending.
“I suddenly have lots of time to relax and do some projects around the house,” said Eggleston Ave. resident Janice Beaumont, wearing a Celtic green surgeons mask in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day while waiting for her order of Kung Pao Corned Beef outside of Ni Hao Asian Café. “I could get used to this.”
At press time, Elmhurst residents revealed that they are more than happy to distance themselves from their own family as well, if necessary.
The Elmhurst Funion 